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Married... and Without Sex?




Some of the most common causes of sexless marriages seen in a sexologist’s daily practice are: hurt feelings, getting turned down repeatedly, not making enough time or not creating the environment for intimacy, or even not communicating their problems to each other.

The question obviously, is whether refraining from sex causes other problems, or if the other problems stop the sex in the first place?

"It's a cycle"
In other words, one can exacerbate the other — and before you know it, no one can remember what came first.


Many people ask how much sex should a healthy couple have? Research shows it is a very frequently google-d question; much more so than "how to make your marriage work" and "sexual dysfunction" The answer is that it varies; and it is up to the couple to figure out how much is comfortable for them.

It is important NOT to get complacent about trying to have sex. Be sure that your spouse is willing to make the effort and work on the issue as well. Intimacy keeps couples connected together. Also intimacy is often confused with sexual intercourse per se. When a couple has had a long period without sex, for instance several months together, it's important to address the problem for both partners individually and as a unit, so that the months don't turn into years.

Some couples won't have sex for 1-2 years and then visit a sexologist and ask for help with conception. It is possible to get to the bottom of the problem at that point and sort out issues between the couple, but it's much more challenging and takes longer to rectify. If they haven't had sex for a couple of months, that's when they really should be asking questions. That's a good time to come in and start therapy as soon as possible. Otherwise, anger and frustration builds, and it takes longer to fix it that way. However both the partners shouldn't feel like they have to stick to a regular schedule during stressful or tumultuous times.
After a period of sexual inactivity, you and your partner CAN get back on the proverbial horse.